i'm sorry, i just feel the need to vent some of this.
-i have inflammation of the esophagus, i've been given medication for it, but if they don't work i have to go to the hospital and swallow a tube so they can see what's happening inside me
-my antidepressants haven't been working for two months, what i've been given isn't working. i talked to the doctor about it, but she said my medication is heavy and i should wait another month. which is pretty bad news for me because i'm actively screwing myself and my life up every day, and that makes a month a lot of trouble.
-my new psychiatrist has recommended me to the hospitals department for eating disorders. i'll start there in a few months.
-i haven't changed my clothes in weeks.
-i've been to the doctors about 6 times the past two-three months, and i have to go back in either a week, or in two weeks.
-two of my best friends have so much shit to deal with, that never ends, and i can't help them.
-i have an up-coming trip to england in about three weeks, and i don't think i'll be able to go, and i don't know how to deal with that, because i was excited to go, but now i've fucked it up. i'm afraid to alienate friends if i cancel.
-my money-situation is a mess, i'm declared sick so i don't have to work, and have been getting monetary help from the state, but now that whole situation is in chaos.
-haven't picked up a maths book in almost a month. haven't been in contact with the teacher who's supposed to help me with my essay. haven't even started thinking about the essay.
-neither my doctor nor my psychiatrist seem to have respect for the fact that i'm transsexual and though i can live with female pronouns, i'm not okay with being referred to as a lady, a girl or a daughter. even though i told my doctor off for calling me a lady, next time i was there she did it again. and my psychiatrist explicitly knows that i'm transsexual, and that i'm having a hard time with it at the moment.
okay, before i change my mind; hit send.
3 comments:
oh kier, i'm really sorry to read this. i wish i could say or do something that would help. is it possible that the meds aren't working because of your physical health problems? that stuff is so inter-related... maybe if you focus on getting that straightened out, it will come back into balance.
as for england, man, if you're not up to it, don't go and don't feel bad about not going. you've got to take care of yourself first.
lots of love to you, always.
mieze
Hei Kier. Eg e glad for at du posta dette. Høres drit ut alt det her. fy satan for noe piss. håpe du får en break snart. eg skrive en mail t deg. elske deg for alltid og eg e her for deg for alltid uansett. husk det.
michelle, hey, i started the new meds in good time before i was sick, so it doesn't seem that way. but thanks a lot for what you said, i hope you're doing good. all my love back at you,xxx
hei ellen, sorry eg ikkje har svart på mail ennå, det e kje meiningen å keep you hangin', eg vente bare på laptop sånn at eg har skikkelig data igjen. eg bestilte den igår så eg håpe den komme raskt! tusen tusen takk for at du e så fin, eg elske deg og, håpe du har det bra.
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