Saturday, 3 January 2015
i was in oslo, visiting you and your boyfriend and you were both at work. the last thing i remember is having some friends from work over, they had brought decorated cookies for children. then it's the next day and i'm at home going to bed. i come to, and realize i can't remember anything. i call you, my body half paralyzed in the darkness, something terrible must have happened. i can tell you don't want to talk to me anymore, i sob and struggle to get out the words, "i can't remember what happened last night." i'm desperate and keep repeating it to a non-responsive you until i can't feel anything. then i'm walking with you, it's night and dark, i'm telling you all i can remember which is that we were going to have dinner then go out and see david bowie play. a car pulls up with a woman and a dog in it. the dog scares me so i have to get in the car. she takes me away to some asylum while i'm begging you please. then i'm reliving that night. there's some kind of ceremony and our families are there. i walk out, they lead me backwards to the spot i'm supposed to stand in and then what happened happens. i turn and their eyes are gone. i start screaming, the fear is unimaginable. i'm screaming about their eyes and i turn and there you are coming towards me and your eyes are gone. you're deformed, and it's like your deformities are moving as you move, closer to me.